Family Life – Life with the Clarks

Why My Kids Take “PTO”

March 22, 2024 No Comments

First and foremost, my kids’ education is extremely important to us but in our house, perfect attendance is not something we stress too much about. Striving for perfect attendance in school can inadvertently promote a mindset that prioritizes attendance over overall well-being. While regular attendance is crucial for academic success, it’s equally important to recognize that children may occasionally need days off for rest, recovery, or personal matters. Encouraging perfect attendance could lead to children attending school when they are unwell, potentially spreading illness to others or hindering their own recovery. Additionally, it’s vital for children to learn that taking breaks when needed is a normal part of life, fostering a healthier attitude towards self-care and balance. By prioritizing overall health and well-being over perfect attendance, we hope that we are empowering our children to prioritize their physical and mental wellness while still placing value on their education.

So, how do we make this work for us?

We have four kids and my husband works half the weekend, so it can be difficult to ensure that we’re spending enough time together as a family or taking our kids out for one-on-one dates. Obviously no one is paying our kids to take time off but they are allotted a certain number of days out of school during the year. We decided we’d look at those allotted days like an employee’s paid time off. We do take into consideration there should be days available for the inevitable illness but we don’t worry about taking the kids out of school for a family activity here and there. Doing so has freed us of some of the stress around scheduling family activities and dates with our kids on the weekends. My husband took both our older kids to Disney earlier this year for one-on-one dates and one of those dates was on a Monday. Last December my mom was in town, and she took my foodie oldest daughter to Epcot on a Tuesday to explore and try the yummy food during the International Festival of the Holidays. In 2022, my husband took our older kids to Legoland during the week to celebrate our son’s 6th birthday.

You can see we don’t do this very often but by embracing the occasional personal day for our children acknowledges the importance we place on their overall well-being and our relationship with them. I will say, we have never encountered a situation where one of our kids has asked to stay home for the day just because. We typically don’t entertain the “I don’t want to go to school” complaints at this age. However, our hope is that by allowing them to take the occasional time off we are empowering them to prioritize self-care and balance in their lives.

Allowing your child the occasional time off from school can be valuable from a mental health aspect, too. Just like us parents, children may be stressed and overwhelmed by their day to day lives, and a day of rest and relaxation at home may be just what they need to feel better. Regardless of the reason you let your child stay home, it’s important to keep in mind the following:

1. Know your child’s school’s attendance policy.

You need to know how many excused and unexcused days your child is allowed to be out of school. You’ll want to account for sick days and know how many days your child has already been out of school. My daughter was out of school for a full five days last year due to the flu so I try to keep in mind that an illness could, unfortunately, last an entire school week.

2. Check in with your child’s teacher.

Before planning a day out of school for our kids we check in with their teacher to find out what is going on in the classroom that day. We typically avoid planning days off when one of our kids has a test or other important activity going on. For example, my son’s Disney day earlier this year had to get rescheduled because they had a test in class on the day we were considering.

3. Plan ahead.

Most of us don’t have the flexibility to call out of work the day before we want to be off. So, while you’re checking in with your child’s teacher, determine the best day for you to be off as well. It might be your typical day off if you have a weekday off, like my husband, but if you work Monday through Friday, evaluate your week’s rhythms, deliverables, and projects before selecting your day off. Also consider where you’re going. When my husband took our kids to Disney, I suggested going on a Sunday because there isn’t the same amount of traffic to Orlando like on a workday. He took our oldest for her date on a Sunday and then our second oldest on a Monday but decided to stay later at the park to avoid rush hour traffic leaving Orlando.

If this concept is for you and you decide to take a day off with your child, I hope you have a great time making those memories together!

Family Life

Must-Have Essentials: Preparing for Your New Furry Friend

March 21, 2024 No Comments

Disclaimer: I have not received any form of compensation for the products or services mentioned in this post. This post may contain affiliate links. If you purchase any item through the affiliate link, I will earn a small commission at no cost to you. These links are provided to help you easily access the products or services discussed in my posts.

Embarking on the journey of adding a dog to your family is both thrilling and rewarding. As someone who has cherished the companionship of two beloved dogs, each for significant periods of their lives – 17 years and 11 years respectively – I understand the importance of thoughtful preparation. Whether you’re a seasoned pet parent or venturing into dog ownership for the first time, ensuring you have the essentials in place is crucial for a smooth transition. Below are fundamental items and considerations for welcoming your new furry friend into your home with open arms and wagging tails.

Dog health insurance: We utilized Banfield’s pet insurance for both of our dogs for the entirety of their lives. I truly believe that our dogs lived as long as they did because of Banfield’s annual comprehensive visits, which were thorough examinations of their internal and external health.
Crate: You may be okay with your dog sleeping in bed with you but if you’re getting a puppy, crate training is an effective part of their bedtime routine. We crate trained our dogs initially and then gradually allowed them to sleep with us once they were trustworthy. A simple dog crate like this is perfect for crate training.
Dog playpen: For peace of mind, your puppy or new dog needs a safe space to play and rest during the day or when you’re not home. We preferred a playpen like this when our dogs were puppies.
Bully sticks: You may not want to look at what a bully stick is made out of but they were extremely helpful in curbing our puppy from chewing things he wasn’t supposed to. They aren’t the cheapest chew option though. We typically got ours from Costco.
Toys: Have a few chew toys, balls, and stuffed animals (for dogs) on hand when your puppy or new dog comes home. These will also help curb your puppy from chewing things they’re not supposed to. One great toy we always liked for our dogs was the Kong rubber chew toy that you add peanut butter or one of the Kong spray treats to. They could chew on it and burn off energy by trying to get the peanut butter out of the inside.
Food and water bowl: You’ll need a food and water bowl for your new puppy or dog. Eventually you may decide your dog needs a food bowl that encourages slower eating but a simple bowl for each will suffice in the beginning.
Puppy food: We always mixed dry and wet food but it’s certainly not necessary. You may decide to start with just dry food for convenience.
Obedience training: We took our second dog to obedience training at Petsmart. We were pleased with his progress but if you’re looking for something like protection training, you’ll want to do some research for independent programs in your area.
Collar, tag, and leash: Have your puppy or new dog’s collar, tag, and leash ready when they arrive. You won’t be able to walk your puppy outside until they have their initial vaccines but you can at least practice leash training in the house.
Puppy pads: Your puppy will have accidents in the house. Be prepared with puppy pads placed in their safe spaces, like their crate and playpen.

Good luck, and remember, the puppy phase is just that, a phase!

Family Life

Weekend Ready: Stress-Free Tips for Going Out with Kids

March 4, 2024 No Comments

Taking the kids out of the house for a weekend outing or even errands can be a production. Other factors can add to the stress like going out on your own with the kids or having multiple kids you have to get ready. I have certainly experienced anxiety and fear when considering the idea of venturing out with my kids. I remember the first time I went out with my first two alone and then years later when I went out with the three kids alone, and to me, it was something to be proud of! It’ll happen eventually but with two under two right now and currently still being on maternity leave, I am not rushing to go out with all four on my own. However, I love going out with my kids and I have learned that being as prepared as possible helps me manage the inevitable challenges we are bound to face when leaving the house. It’s important to me that these tips are as practical as possible; I want you to have faith in yourself, too!

1. Have a plan for the day but be flexible.

Give yourself room for flexibility. Work to get out the door at 9:30a but tell yourself 9:45a is okay too if the morning doesn’t go according to plan. Having fewer expectations for the day leaves you with fewer chances to be disappointed or frustrated.

2. Make a list.

Write out everything you expect you’ll need for the next day and check each item off as you put it in a bag or in a drop zone by the door. Use the questionnaire/checklist I’ve included below to help.

3. Prepare the night before.

Mornings can be hectic, do your tomorrow-self a favor and use the list you created to help prep your snacks, diaper bag, and other go bags for the next day. Make sure any necessary electronics are charged.

4. Play the day out in your head.

From start to finish, consider the day’s events and refer back to your list to make sure you have everything you need for the day.

5. Debrief with yourself.

Once the day is over, consider any new challenges you faced and if you felt prepared for them. Also consider if you need to change something up because it’s no longer working for you.

Family Life

The Reality of Life with Kids: It’s Hard!

February 29, 2024 No Comments

We have only been parents to four kids for a little over seven weeks. At the time of this post, our youngest is barely two months old. When I had our third child in 2022, a few people told me that I must be a pro at this parenting thing. In reality, parenting a newborn felt brand new considering that, at the time, it had been five years since I’d had a baby. Surely I had enough knowledge not to feel completely unsure of myself but I was very much a different person in 2022 than in 2016 and what was important to me as a parent in 2016 wasn’t necessarily as important in 2022. What I can say for certain is that whether you have one kid or four kids, being a parent is hard. When you have your first child, you’re learning about this new person that depends on you for every thing but you’re also learning about how to be a parent. You may also be taking care of someone other than yourself for the first time in your life. Having two kids is hard but that hard changes. Now you have to split your attention between your first child who may or may not understand why you now have to focus on someone other than them. If they’re old enough to recognize that there is another child vying for your attention, they may start displaying symptoms of jealousy. If they’re even older, they may be helpful and willing to assist with the new baby but they may also find that they need more space and quiet time. As you add more children to the mix, you have more experience as a parent but then learn what worked for child number one doesn’t work for child number two and now you have to go back to the drawing board. Additionally, when you have your first child, you learn how to wear your heart on your sleeve, so adding more children equals more people to worry about. With all that being said, more children also means more joy, more firsts, and more laughs.

What’s hard about our current season of parenthood:

In our current season of parenthood, we have a 9 year old, a 7 year old, a 16 month old and a 7 week old. My bigs, as a I call them, are such amazing siblings to the youngest two and I can see how much they love them. However, my 9 year old, specifically, is going through “developmentally appropriate” changes and desiring more and more to spend time with her neighborhood friend. This newfound independence is hard on us because now we’re not as included in her life, and when she is at home, she wants to hang out on her own and talk to that friend. We can see she still loves us and is willing to do things with us but we seem to be moving into a new stage of life with her where we don’t hold the same importance as before. It’s status quo with our 7 year old though I’m sure we’re not too far off from some of the same changes we’re experiencing with our oldest. What’s been especially difficult is having two under two. Our oldest two are 2 years and 4 months apart so when our second child was born, our oldest was talking and potty trained. This is not the case with the youngest two. As each week passes though, I can say that I am becoming more and more confident in parenting four kids and better at finding solutions to the situations that have caused me anxiety.

What challenge are you experiencing in your current season of parenthood?