We have only been parents to four kids for a little over seven weeks. At the time of this post, our youngest is barely two months old. When I had our third child in 2022, a few people told me that I must be a pro at this parenting thing. In reality, parenting a newborn felt brand new considering that, at the time, it had been five years since I’d had a baby. Surely I had enough knowledge not to feel completely unsure of myself but I was very much a different person in 2022 than in 2016 and what was important to me as a parent in 2016 wasn’t necessarily as important in 2022. What I can say for certain is that whether you have one kid or four kids, being a parent is hard. When you have your first child, you’re learning about this new person that depends on you for every thing but you’re also learning about how to be a parent. You may also be taking care of someone other than yourself for the first time in your life. Having two kids is hard but that hard changes. Now you have to split your attention between your first child who may or may not understand why you now have to focus on someone other than them. If they’re old enough to recognize that there is another child vying for your attention, they may start displaying symptoms of jealousy. If they’re even older, they may be helpful and willing to assist with the new baby but they may also find that they need more space and quiet time. As you add more children to the mix, you have more experience as a parent but then learn what worked for child number one doesn’t work for child number two and now you have to go back to the drawing board. Additionally, when you have your first child, you learn how to wear your heart on your sleeve, so adding more children equals more people to worry about. With all that being said, more children also means more joy, more firsts, and more laughs.
What’s hard about our current season of parenthood:
In our current season of parenthood, we have a 9 year old, a 7 year old, a 16 month old and a 7 week old. My bigs, as a I call them, are such amazing siblings to the youngest two and I can see how much they love them. However, my 9 year old, specifically, is going through “developmentally appropriate” changes and desiring more and more to spend time with her neighborhood friend. This newfound independence is hard on us because now we’re not as included in her life, and when she is at home, she wants to hang out on her own and talk to that friend. We can see she still loves us and is willing to do things with us but we seem to be moving into a new stage of life with her where we don’t hold the same importance as before. It’s status quo with our 7 year old though I’m sure we’re not too far off from some of the same changes we’re experiencing with our oldest. What’s been especially difficult is having two under two. Our oldest two are 2 years and 4 months apart so when our second child was born, our oldest was talking and potty trained. This is not the case with the youngest two. As each week passes though, I can say that I am becoming more and more confident in parenting four kids and better at finding solutions to the situations that have caused me anxiety.
What challenge are you experiencing in your current season of parenthood?